Episode 77: Time for Some Feedback on Feedback

We learn and grow when we know how we are doing, and, for most of us, our go-to method for figuring out how we are doing is to rely on the feedback of others. Still, many of us generally find giving and receiving feedback uncomfortable. How come? And, does it have something to do with the word itself??

Key Takeaways:

• There are differences between criticism and feedback, and one of the key differences is context. We need context!

• If you are asking for feedback, be specific about what you want feedback on.

• Feedback is so one-way! It feels like you just have to sit there and take it. It’s time to reframe feedback as a conversation.

Bonus Takeaway:

• While we all love sandwiches...no more sh$t sandwiches! Take the bread off and get to the point.

Episode 58: Out of Sight But Not Out of Mind

Remote working. Virtual teams. That is the situation many of us find ourselves in now. Before coronavirus, the consensus on the effectiveness of remote working seemed split. But now, we are in it and will likely be in it for the foreseeable future. One of the hardest adjustments for people seems to be the loss of connection. It turns out that all of the informal and in-between meeting chit chat played a huge part in creating connection and building relationships. So, in this new normal, how can we be out of sight but not out of mind?

Key Takeaways:

• While you may not need to connect with someone today, someone else may really need that from you. Keep this in mind and do your part to foster connected, trusting, relationships with people at work no matter what your job title is.

• Be adaptable! This is all so fluid. Don’t assume that how you show up today will be what is needed tomorrow.

Episode 52: That's Not My Place

Is minding our own business always a good thing? Ooooo, good question! Often, when people come to us with an opinion, suggestion, or concern that they have yet to voice, they tell us that the reason they haven’t put it forward is because it is, “not their place.” In this episode, we talk about how minding your own business, putting your head in the sand, and not getting involved is not always a good thing and can even make you the jerk!

Note: this episode is a companion episode to Putting Down the Gavel, episode 50.

Key Takeaways:

• In our experience, one of the reasons people don’t speak up and default to, “that’s just not my place,” is FEAR. And as we know, fear is a jerk!

• A couple of questions to ask yourself: Am I waiting for someone else to do something? If so, what makes them more accountable?

• You can be a better workplace human at any level of position in an organization. You don’t have to be a boss or a manager or a leader by title. You can be a leader by being a better colleague to your colleagues and modeling awesome workplace behaviours.

Episode 47: Play Nice With Others

We talk all the time about the importance of NOT being a jerk at work and yet when we look around, there are so many examples of successful jerks out there. How does this happen? In this episode, we talk about the correlation between success and jerky behaviours, the sustainability of that success, and whether or not being the big boss gives you permission to be a bit of a jerk sometimes. (Hint: it doesn’t!)

Key Takeaways:

• Speak to people with the same amount of respect, regardless of their level of experience or position in the organization.

• Business can be business and require some really tough decisions...and you still don’t have to be a jerk! At the same time, just because you don’t like someone doesn’t mean they are a jerk. Lack of likeability does not equal a jerk!

• Watch out that you don’t mis-label succinct and efficient behaviours as jerky. Maybe y’all simply have different values.

Episode 35: Quit Jerking Me Around!

If transparency and authenticity are key to being a great leader, what do you do when you are asked a tough question you don't feel you can or are even allowed to answer? In this episode, we discuss various situations that may arise at work when you simply don’t know how to, or if you even could, or should, respond. 

Key Takeaways:

• There IS such a thing as too much transparency. Sometimes, there are details that are yours to carry. It may feel like a burden. As a leader, those burdens are yours.

• Say something, even if it is nothing. If you make a commitment to communicating, especially in a given timeframe, follow through. The update may simply be...no news yet!

• Sandy wins with the usage of the word “performative!” Take note of context/audience. How you deliver info, and what exact information you deliver, may vary depending on with whom you are talking.

Episode 23: Until We Meet Again

What makes an effective meeting? Are there actually meetings you can’t wait to attend? It seems like we believe a good meeting is hard to find. And to host! Whether it’s a gathering of 3, or a gathering of 13 or 30, we share some tips on how to prepare, facilitate and follow up in order to get the most out of meetings. Oh, and of course we discuss how to handle jerks at meetings.

Key Takeaways:

• Agendas are our friends.

• The whole company doesn’t need to come to every meeting...unless every meeting is an all-staff event!

• Eating a tuna fish sandwich during a meeting can be very controversial.

Episode 17: Psst...Have You Heard?

This episode was inspired by a Harvard Business Review article titled, “Stop Complaining About Your Colleagues Behind Their Backs.” The premise of the article is that most people engage in workplace gossip without realizing that it is gossip. As well, conversations with seemingly innocent intentions like confirming performance behaviour or venting can also turn into gossip. On this episode, we talk about gossip in the workplace, why it happens, the impact it has on organizations and teams, and how to engage in more productive and effective conversations with your colleagues.

Key Takeaways:

• Ask yourself, “Why are you talking about this person in the first place and why did you choose to do so with this person in particular?”

• Pay attention to how a conversation makes you feel; if you’re getting an icky feeling, it’s probably not a useful conversation.

• If you are going to expend the energy to gossip, you might want to consider using that energy to figure out a more effective way to let someone know how you are feeling, ask a question, or fill in the blanks.

Episode 15: The Inadvertent Jerk

This episode was inspired by one of our listeners. Jake’s questions are: How do you manage jerk behavior that is intended to be humorous? How does intended bonding turn into harm? We love these questions and they got us thinking about all of those actions and behaviours that we see as well-intentioned but that others see as jerky. On this episode, we explore the impact of off-handed remarks and observational comments, ways to react/respond if you are on the receiving end of said comment, and ways to improve our own self-awareness around what we say and do.

 Key Takeaways:

• Stop for a moment and think about how what you’re about to say or do may impact the other person; approach every interaction from a place of empathy

• If you’re on the receiving end of a comment, breathe and get some space before responding

• If someone lets you know that you’ve been an “inadvertent jerk,” own it, thank them for letting you know, and seek to understand

• Intention doesn’t mitigate impact

• We reference and recommend:

  • “Difficult Conversation: How to Discuss What Matters Most,” by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen

  • Fierce Conversations

  • “Leadership and Self-Deception; Getting Out of the Box,” by Arbinger Institute

Episode 2: When the Talking Gets Tough

Have you ever avoided a tough conversation at work?  Although we don’t have a magic solution or an online form that will solve your problem for you (yes, we’ve been asked for those!), there are ways to have tough conversations without coming across as a jerk. This episode is all about the importance of having those tough conversations, as hard as they may seem. We discuss tough topics for managers and employees, common reasons why people avoid having tough conversations, and how you can begin building your confidence and get better at it. In this episode, Tara refers to the program, “Fierce Conversations,” which is all about the importance of having effective conversations. Tough conversations are hard but with courage and practice, they will get easier!

This episode is for managers (new and experienced) who may be faced with a difficult workplace situation. It’s also a great listen for employees who may want to bring up a tough topic or who want to gain some insight into their manager’s perspective.