Episode 40: Pay Your Dues, Or You Lose

Is the practice of paying your dues long OVERDUE for a change?? A common belief that we all grew up with was that to get ahead, you’d have to pay your dues. That generally meant working long hours, enduring crappy jobs, and generally saying yes to everything. In this episode, we talk about today’s work environments and how this expression may be outdated, even if the essence of it still has value.

Key Takeaways:

• It sounds outdated and implies that you owe something to your employer in an already power imbalanced relationship.

• Let’s reframe the meaning of the expression -- paying your dues is about showing people, not telling people what you are capable of.

• Before grumbling about how lame it is to pay your dues, think about what your goal is and whether this work is going to help you achieve it...WITHOUT compromising your ethics!

Episode 39: It's All About Me

Happy New Year! We are back.

While we hope 2020 is a great year for YOU, in this episode, we talk about how employee entitlement shows up at work and what can happen when we behave in a way that comes across as, “It’s all about me!” We discuss where the attitude comes from, what to do if someone on your team shows these tendencies, and how to recognize if you may be showing up as entitled.

Key Takeaways:

• Ego is a common driver of the entitlement attitude - when we compare ourselves to others versus focusing on the goals of our roles and the objectives of the company.

• Be curious - try to understand where the other person (the entitled one!) is coming from. Don’t take it personally! And be curious with yourself - why is this bugging you?

• Watch out if you take the avocados away! That will bite you in the ass. (When the perk is no longer a perk because it has become expected.)

Episode 38: Minisode - Don't Say Another Word...Yet!

At the start of 2019, we each picked a word for the year that we believed would be meaningful for us and would be our guide as we traveled through 2019. Now, here we are, about to wrap up the last of the teen years of the 21st century. We look back and consider how our words served us these last 12 months.

Happy New Year! We look forward to sharing more conversations with you in 2020!

Episode 37: Minisode - Bah Humbug!

It’s that time of year when Christmas shows up at the workplace. If you like Christmas, it means this could be a real high point of the year! If you don’t have any interest in Christmas, it could mean you are considered a Christmas jerk...a grinch. In this minisode, we talk about how to be true to yourself during the holiday season and not be a jerk at work...even if you really prefer to say, “Bah, humbug!”

Key Takeaways:

• If you aren’t keen to go to the company holiday party, and you think you may be expected to be there, rather than simply no-showing, talk to your boss beforehand. 

• Why would you ever want to crash your former company’s Christmas party??? Just don’t.

• It’s also just a really good guideline to NEVER GIVE LINGERIE OR A GIFT CERTIFICATE TO A LINGERIE SHOP as a Secret Santa gift. You’re welcome.

Episode 36: Energy Vampires

Do you ever notice how some colleagues leave you feeling energized while others suck the life right out of you? If you find yourself feeling drained after interactions with certain people, you may be in the unfortunate situation of working with an energy vampire. Don’t worry! We’re here to help. In this episode, we talk about how to cope with these workplace Dementors and how to recognize if you may be sucking the life out of your co-workers, too! After listening, watch The Lost Boys, just because it’s a classic. And it’s bloody awesome. ;)

Key Takeaways:

• Not all energy vampires are the same! There are different varieties, including drama-filled, ego-driven and dependent. 

• With the drama-filled vampires, it can start out energizing and even entertaining...don’t be fooled! They’re still gonna get you in the end.

• It can be tricky with the dependent energy vampires because it’s easy to default to the fastest solution and simply answer all of their questions. Feels good to help them, until it doesn’t. It’s exhausting! And they’ll keep asking you, and asking you…

Episode 35: Quit Jerking Me Around!

If transparency and authenticity are key to being a great leader, what do you do when you are asked a tough question you don't feel you can or are even allowed to answer? In this episode, we discuss various situations that may arise at work when you simply don’t know how to, or if you even could, or should, respond. 

Key Takeaways:

• There IS such a thing as too much transparency. Sometimes, there are details that are yours to carry. It may feel like a burden. As a leader, those burdens are yours.

• Say something, even if it is nothing. If you make a commitment to communicating, especially in a given timeframe, follow through. The update may simply be...no news yet!

• Sandy wins with the usage of the word “performative!” Take note of context/audience. How you deliver info, and what exact information you deliver, may vary depending on with whom you are talking.

Episode 34: Can We Really Cry if We Want To?

What is it about crying at work that is soooo uncomfortable? It seems like being authentic and vulnerable is desirable, and yet, if tears are part of exuding authenticity and vulnerability, it is a completely different situation. Some words that get associated with crying at work are: hysterical, out of control, weak, womanly, unhinged, incapable, etc. 

In this episode, we discuss when someone cries at work, whether it is your team member, a colleague, your boss, or yourself , and how to be IN the moment and NOT be a jerk in that moment.

Key Takeaways:

• Tears can be the result of a broad array of emotions. It’s not always sadness that brings on the tears. Try not to assume you know exactly what is happening for that person.

• You don’t have to take on the role of getting the person to stop crying. It’s okay to sit with someone who cries and simply offer them a tissue. When talking with someone who is crying, try to still listen to that person and not get completely distracted by the tears.

• If you are someone who feels really uncomfortable witnessing tears at work, and or associates any of those words mentioned above with crying, please check in with yourself and assess what is causing that response in you.

Episode 33: Apply Yourself, Dammit! Part 4

Well, we thought we had a lot to say in the first three parts of this series. In part 4, Acing the Interview, we really go to town. To really do awesome in an interview, it takes work! From preparation with online research about the company to getting to the interview ON TIME to leaving the interview feeling like you nailed it, you got to do the work. We shared many laughs recording this one, and we are pretty confident we are giving you some great pro tips, too. Enjoy!

Key Takeaways:

• Just like we said in the previous episode, remember to listen, really LISTEN to the questions you are being asked. Wait for the interviewer to finish speaking before you start answering the question. There is no need to rush! It’s okay to take a few seconds to think before you open your mouth.

• When the interview is coming to an end and you are asked if you have any questions for the interviewers, have questions ready! One of the fastest ways to leave a poor last impression is to say you don’t have any questions. That said, make them good ones.

• Don’t pee in the parking lot before an interview. Especially if the parking lot is in sight of the building where you are hoping to get a job. This is both gross and unnecessary. Come on, people. 

Episode 32: Apply Yourself, Dammit! Part 3

Between the three of us, we have done a LOT of interviews. Some of our most memorable experiences come from our recruiting experience and the candidate interviews we’ve conducted along the way. It takes effort to be a good interviewer! And it is easy to be a jerky interviewer, without even meaning to be a jerk. In this episode, we provide some practical tips to help you avoid being a jerk to candidates.

Key Takeaways:

• The best interviewers lead an interview in a way that brings out the best in a candidate. Who does it serve to try and sink them?? Then you’ll just have to keep interviewing more candidates!

• Prepare in advance and have your questions ready. Take the time to think about why you would ask particular questions - don’t simply ask them because you think they are standard and expected. And then, once you’ve asked the question, listen. Really LISTEN to the candidate’s answers. Who knows what kind of conversation you could have?

• Check your bias! Sarah suggests giving Project Implicit a try. https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/

Episode 31: Apply Yourself, Dammit! Part 2

In part 2 of our 4-part series (Apply Yourself, Dammit!), we share our insider’s perspective on how to make your resume stand out and we answer that age-old question, “Do I really need to write a cover letter?” 

Key Takeaways: 

• You have SIX seconds to make an impression with your resume so make it readable, be clear and succinct, know your story and what will set you apart from the pack, only include what is relevant, and 2 pages max people!

• Yes, you need a cover letter! If you are asked for one, that is basic instruction following. In addition, your cover letter is the partner document to your resume (i.e., do not regurgitate your resume); it gives you the opportunity to showcase who you are and how you will contribute to the organization. Tip: starting your cover letter with “Dear Sirs” is a guaranteed way to ensure that no one will read your letter.

• Being a professional is learning to adapt your communication style for different situations. Always think about your audience and if you make the effort to customize your cover letter (which you should), make sure you get it right!

• Gimmicks are risky business. Sometimes they work though. Just ask Tara!

Episode 30: Apply Yourself, Dammit! Part 1

It’s finally time! With all of us having done a lot of past work in recruitment, we definitely wanted to cover some getting-a-job-related topics. Oh, do we have some experiences to share. In part 1 of our 4 -part series, we talk about networking, self-promotion, your online presence, and, of course, alllll the effort that goes into it. Phew! 

Key Takeaways:

• It’s called netWORKING, people! You gotta worrrrk. Before you even start putting yourself OUT there, take time to prepare and do the INward looking so you know your message and you can be as confident as possible.

• The long game is worth it! Networking events may not lead to anything immediately and it can be hard to see the value. Sometimes it might be months, or years, before a networking relationship can show results!

• Be conscientious - if you have the opportunity to chat with some accomplished people, don’t monopolize their time. Pay attention and watch for social cues to skedaddle. Last thing you want is to come across as an inadvertent jerk! You can always follow up by sending them a note in the next few days.

Episode 29: The Value of Values

Many of us are familiar with company values (you’ve seen them on your corporate website, marketing materials, or maybe you know them off by heart) but few of us think about our personal values and how they show up for us at work. In this episode, we talk about our core values, how they influence who we are at work, how they affect how we interpret situations, and what you can do if someone rubs up against your core values.

Key Takeaways

• Values are valuable! Be true to yours and you can still learn about others.

• Values anchor us and act as guide posts; they help with decision making…what you want to move toward and what you want to move away from.

Episode 28: Exiting Gracefully

How you leave a company can make just as much of an impression, if not an even bigger one, as how you arrive. In this episode, we reminisce about some memorable departures (there are some good ones!) as well as share some of our insights on how to communicate your departure once you’ve (finally)  made the decision to quit a job.

Key Takeaways

• Whenever possible, leave your team and department in a better state than how you found it! (Yes, the same tip applies to the workplace toilets!)

• There is a thing as too much notice.

• Before telling your boss to take a flying f*ck at a rolling donut, ask yourself, “Is this the legacy I really want to leave?” (What a great expression though!!)

Episode 27: Jerk and Confidence

In this episode, we are confidently speaking about...confidence! Is there a way to believe in yourself, exude confidence and also not be a jerk? We think so, and we’re full of ideas on how to do just that.

Key takeaways:

• There is a difference between confidence and arrogance. Confidence = good. Arrogance = bad.

• Both overconfidence AND underconfidence can lead to jerky behaviour.

• Just because someone is young and doesn’t have a ton of experience, they can still be confident! Rather than thinking, “How dare??”, be inspired by them.

Episode 26: Decisions, decisions...

We make decisions every day, all day. At work, how do we make tough decisions, and not be a jerk even when it may not be a popular decision? When is it suitable to rely on consensus, majority or dictating the decision yourself? This week, we share our experiences with these challenging situations and talk about some approaches that may make them a bit less complex. 

Key Takeaways: 

• Be aware of the difference between people liking you and respecting your decision. 

• Think about the scope of the decision before you decide to invite the whole company, or several people, anyway, to participate in making a decision.

• Trust your expert teammates! If you aren’t the expert in an area that you need to make a decision, collaborate with the person who is. (Yes, we know that sort of conflicts with the previous takeaway!)

Episode 25: To Gift or Not to Gift

To gift or not to gift? That is the question the ladies disagree about, I mean, discuss in this week’s episode of Don’t Be A Jerk At Work. And oooooooohhhh, the drama of it all. It’s absolutely Shakespearean! 

Key Takeaways: 

• It’s okay not to participate in office gift giving! 

• It’s okay to participate in office gift giving! 

• Most importantly, try not to bow to the pressure - do what feels right for you and just don’t be a jerk about it.

Episode 24: Sharing is Caring

Authenticity, vulnerability, accessibility, connectivity, all the ‘ity’s’! Showing up at work with these traits can definitely lead to a more engaged work culture. However, is there a line? If so, where is it? And, how does being authentic intersect with being a jerk? Or, hopefully, not being a jerk? In this episode, we ask ourselves these questions and more about what it means to show up “as yourself” in the workplace. Oh, and we dig into crying at work, too! 

Key Takeaways: 

• If you want to see more authenticity and vulnerability at work, you’ve got to model that behaviour yourself.

• Pay attention to who’s in the room when you are sharing and note their responses (verbal and body language). AKA know your audience.

• No sex talk at work. Ever.

Episode 23: Until We Meet Again

What makes an effective meeting? Are there actually meetings you can’t wait to attend? It seems like we believe a good meeting is hard to find. And to host! Whether it’s a gathering of 3, or a gathering of 13 or 30, we share some tips on how to prepare, facilitate and follow up in order to get the most out of meetings. Oh, and of course we discuss how to handle jerks at meetings.

Key Takeaways:

• Agendas are our friends.

• The whole company doesn’t need to come to every meeting...unless every meeting is an all-staff event!

• Eating a tuna fish sandwich during a meeting can be very controversial.

Episode 22: Personal Space

After last week's toilet episode, we thought we'd keep the personal space conversation going. This time, we're talking about the pros and cons of open floor plans in the workplace. How does boundary setting work when the vast majority of people are rubbing elbows side by side on the floor? How do people be authentic when some people are naturally boisterous and others like library-level quiet?  

Key Takeaways:

• Before asking someone for a 5-minute convo at work, check the time! Are they just arriving and need time to settle in? Are they about to leave?

• Before jumping into a convo happening near you, wait...were you just eavesdropping?

• Sandy doesn't like open office workspaces!

Episode 21: When Your Workplace is in the Toilet

We’re back! Like we started our first season, we thought it would be a good way to kick things off by discussing etiquette at work...this time, in the bathroom. Honestly, we really didn’t expect to have so much to say on this topic. And yet, we sure did. From hand washing (or lack of!) to toilet seat position to the classic pee everywhere situation, we discuss that the work toilets, just like everywhere else, need to be a jerk-free zone. Have a listen and we’ll help you to not flush your career down the drain.

Key Takeaways:

• Wear shoes in the bathroom!

• Remember not everyone is up for a bathroom conversation. 

• Leave it in better shape than how you found it, like you are trying to impress someone you like. Fancy.