Episode 80: The Anguishing of Languishing

Burnt out. Languishing. Unmotivated. Tired. Stuck. Many of us have had these general feelings of malaise over the past 15 months and lately...well lately, it seems even more acute.

A recurring theme that we’ve been hearing from leaders and HR professionals is that they are feeling helpless when it comes to the topic of employee burnout. They have been seeing employee burnout throughout the pandemic and supporting their teams and colleagues as best as they can. But, they are also experiencing burnout and that leaves them with a lot less capacity to lead and support others. And less capacity is typically a recipe for us inadvertently becoming jerks at work. So, what to do??

Key Takeaways:

• It is important to talk about this because it is real! Talking about it makes it more okay.

• All of us are responsible, regardless of job title, to take care and notice burnout, and that our colleague, our employee, may be languishing. 

• In spite of everything, acknowledge that work is STILL getting done! Amazing.

Episode 74: This is Still Hard - A Pandemic Lament

Look. For many people, it’s been a long year (yes, a YEAR!) of very little face to face and much more screen to screen. Through it all, we have tried to adapt in various ways. Some of these ways have proven to be more successful than others. But no matter what, we still find ourselves saying: this stuff is hard. Really HARD. (Okay, two of us are saying it more than the other!) By stuff we mean communicating. Connecting. Keeping up relationships over a screen. Having a solid read on things. Working as a team. Feeling like a team.

In this episode, we (two of us more than the other!) get to whine and bemoan and grieve and complain about all the things we miss about having a proper sit down with a person and being in a workplace, and actually interacting with other humans there.  

Key Takeaways:

• We miss the real vibe of shared energy that happens when a bunch of people are in the same space. That feeling when a whole room of people start to laugh about something...and then just can’t stop. :)

• Sandy is happy to not have people regularly ask her, “Oh, hey, do you have a minute??” (Which really means 30 minutes.) We feel you, Sandy.

• Who knows!? Maybe the pandemic will lead to a real change in the bra business! No more underwire ever!!

Episode 71: Toxic Positivity at Work

We thought it would be a strong contrast to follow up our gratitude episode with one on toxic positivity. Before we could even get into a discussion on this topic, we had to get clear on what the heck it is! Our nutshell definition goes something like this: glazing over or ignoring the crappiness of a situation and not acknowledging how hard something might be, and how negatively it may be impacting someone, a team or a company. Often, it’s combined with a lot of finding-of-silver-linings, something that the three of us, who lean towards being positive, are prone to do. We’ve got some contrasting points of view this time! At least we are still friends though. (See what we did there?) :)

Key Takeaways:

• One thing we all agreed on is that, at first, the notion of this made us mega eyerolllllll.

• Don’t pretend the tough stuff isn’t happening! If you’ve got crappy news to share with your team, be up front about it, having an authentic conversation, and then move to solution-finding.

• Positivity and platitudes are going to impact people in really different ways, and, as always, positive intention doesn’t mitigate impact. Three things to keep in mind: topic, timing, audience.

Episode 70: Gre-Attitude? Grrr-Attitude? What’s Your Attitude About Gratitude?

Are you a glass half full, silver lining, always-look-on-the-bright-side kind of person? Are you good at turning towards what you have? Does practicing gratitude come naturally to you? Or, are you someone who thinks that they could be better at feeling grateful for what you have? Or, are you someone who thinks that this gratitude stuff is way too woo woo for you? 

The three of us generally trend towards the optimistic and grateful side of the spectrum. But gratitude can be tricky. In this episode we discuss the paradoxical nature of gratitude: sometimes it serves us AND sometimes it might just lead us to tolerating more than we should. Conundrum? Yes, we think so.

PS: This episode was recorded in early November 2020.

Oh! And we kick off the episode with a quick statement of our guiding words/phrases for 2021.

Sandy: Reflection and Celebration
Sarah: Roll with It!
Tara: Lift

Key Takeaways:

• What’s the motivation to express gratitude? Is it a grounding practice? Is it to shift perspective? Is it about recognition of another? Or is it about connection?

• It’s possible that the pressure to be grateful (externally or internally applied) can lead us to inauthenticity, or to stay in situations that are less than awesome.

• There isn’t a templated way of expressing gratitude that works for all. Singing gorillas are not a one-size-fits-all approach. :)

Episode 57: The Gift of Asking for What You Need

These days, if you are fortunate to be healthy and working, you are probably working from home. If you are a boss, you have likely discovered that a “management by walking around style” doesn’t work as well during a pandemic. And, if you are an employee, it has likely meant that you need to take more responsibility for “being seen” and asking for what you need. But are you asking for too much? What is too much? When does asking for what you need start becoming “needy?”

Key Takeaways:

• Many of us are scared to ask for what we need. To overcome that fear, consider:

  • What will be different if I ask for what I need or ask to be supported differently?

  • What will happen if I continue keeping it to myself?

  • How would I feel if someone asked me for the same help/compassion we are asking of them?

• Challenge your own perceptions of why you might see someone as “needy”

• It’s a gift to help someone. And it’s a gift to allow someone to help us!

Episode 56: Let's Talk Mental Health At Work

We have noticed that COVID-19 is impacting us and the people we work with in waves. And now, with many people working remotely, it is hard to know if our colleagues are struggling. When it comes to talking about mental health, many people (including the 3 of us) are unsure about how to check in with each other or even if we can. So, what did we do? We invited an expert to join our conversation!

We were so excited to welcome our friend, Sean Raible to talk about this very important topic. Sean is the founder of, Game Plan Total Rewards Consulting, where he provides strategic consulting and project management services around total rewards and workplace mental health programs. Just like us, he is passionate about creating better workplace humans. You can find out more about Sean at www.gameplantotalrewards.ca and at www.changeonelife.ca.

Key Takeaways

• We don’t know what we don’t know; take the time to pause and be more compassionate about our own thinking and how we see others.

• Consider using the ‘4 Quadrant Exercise’ to frame conversations about mental health.

• As a boss, how are you taking care of yourself? Taking care of yourself puts you in the best place to support others.

• Words matter –our words can positively change outcomes; any easy change is to replace ‘should/must’ with ‘consider.’

Episode 36: Energy Vampires

Do you ever notice how some colleagues leave you feeling energized while others suck the life right out of you? If you find yourself feeling drained after interactions with certain people, you may be in the unfortunate situation of working with an energy vampire. Don’t worry! We’re here to help. In this episode, we talk about how to cope with these workplace Dementors and how to recognize if you may be sucking the life out of your co-workers, too! After listening, watch The Lost Boys, just because it’s a classic. And it’s bloody awesome. ;)

Key Takeaways:

• Not all energy vampires are the same! There are different varieties, including drama-filled, ego-driven and dependent. 

• With the drama-filled vampires, it can start out energizing and even entertaining...don’t be fooled! They’re still gonna get you in the end.

• It can be tricky with the dependent energy vampires because it’s easy to default to the fastest solution and simply answer all of their questions. Feels good to help them, until it doesn’t. It’s exhausting! And they’ll keep asking you, and asking you…

Episode 34: Can We Really Cry if We Want To?

What is it about crying at work that is soooo uncomfortable? It seems like being authentic and vulnerable is desirable, and yet, if tears are part of exuding authenticity and vulnerability, it is a completely different situation. Some words that get associated with crying at work are: hysterical, out of control, weak, womanly, unhinged, incapable, etc. 

In this episode, we discuss when someone cries at work, whether it is your team member, a colleague, your boss, or yourself , and how to be IN the moment and NOT be a jerk in that moment.

Key Takeaways:

• Tears can be the result of a broad array of emotions. It’s not always sadness that brings on the tears. Try not to assume you know exactly what is happening for that person.

• You don’t have to take on the role of getting the person to stop crying. It’s okay to sit with someone who cries and simply offer them a tissue. When talking with someone who is crying, try to still listen to that person and not get completely distracted by the tears.

• If you are someone who feels really uncomfortable witnessing tears at work, and or associates any of those words mentioned above with crying, please check in with yourself and assess what is causing that response in you.

Episode 14: To Stress of Not to Stress

One of biggest influences on how we act and behave is our stress level (real or perceived). On this episode, we talk about stress and work…how it presents in you and in others, how it impacts your work, and ways to manage it so that it doesn’t lead you to becoming a jerk at work.

Key Takeaways:

• Don’t be afraid to have a conversation about stress; approach it with curiosity and consider the lens through which you are seeing the situation, your mood, where the other person is at, and timing

• Figuring out how stress presents in you is an important part of learning how to manage it

• There is an optimal level of stress; be able to differentiate between “growth” stress and “soul-sucking” stress

• Don’t be a jerk to yourself!

Episode 3: You Should No Better

Consider this: every time you say ‘yes’ to something, what are you saying ‘no’ to?  Why is saying ‘no’ so hard for some of us?  How can you say no without coming across as a jerk, feeling guilty, disappointing someone, or all of the above?  This week is all about the importance of setting boundaries and how knowing what is important to you directly impacts your personal and professional development. We share personal examples of things we struggle to say ‘no’ to, but we also talk about what you should consider saying ‘yes’ to. In this episode, we reference, “Lean In,” by Sheryl Sandberg and, “Year of Yes,” by Shonda Rhimes; two powerful reminders of reason to say ‘yes’ and knowing your boundaries.

This podcast will be of interest to anyone new in their career as well as anyone looking to move into a more senior or management role.